June 15th 2005 was Simon’s 27th birthday, the first of many significant occasions that we, his family, have been remembering without him.
He is so deeply missed by all of us. His humour, kindness, gentleness, his quick wittedness, his loyalty, his amazing skate-board skills and love of all kinds of music: these are just some of the gifts he gave his family and friends.

Over these last painful weeks we have been blessed by the love, kindness and practical support of so many who have come alongside us. The shocking events of the 22nd March have deeply affected many people.

We received over 400 cards and letters besides phone-calls and e-mails from friends past and present, work colleagues, acquaintances and complete strangers. Such outpouring of love and sympathy as well as shock and outrage, have deeply moved us.

We are using this birthday occasion to thank all of you who sent so many expressions of love to us in cards ,flowers and gifts…We know the terrible pain of Simon’s loss will not heal easily, especially because of the circumstances surrounding his death.

The I.P.C.C. enquiry continues strongly behind the scenes and we have placed our trust in their integrity and thorough investigation. They have informed and supported us during these past weeks for which we thank them.

We, along with many of you, continue to pray for truth and justice. As Christians our hope is in God who brings His comfort and peace amidst the pain and loss of a lovely son and a great brother.

The appeal at Simon’s funeral and subsequently via his web-site has raised all the money (£3500) for the first African project he was the most passionate about after his trip in February: the bore-hole and pump in the remote village of Singha across the White Volta where we have just completed the first ferry thus making the taking of equipment there possible.
We have ordered the survey and sent the first expense monies already so when Simon’s Dad, David, goes out there in July we will be able to complete the project.
This continuous supply of clean water will not only save the women walking the 14 miles there and back to the river in the dry season, it will ensure the very vulnerable children will not die of the many water borne diseases which have cursed them in the past (1 in 4 before their 5th birthday).
So many grateful thanks for those who contributed so readily and turned just a fraction of this tragedy into hope for others……
This week we received a letter from one of our leaders in Burkina Faso, Jonas Kinda…part of it translates……

……..Simon has left us at a time when we (in Africa) have much need of him. During his stay in Africa he gave us evidence of his compassion and his generosity and with the rights of Africans, particularly with the children, but above all his vision to support his father in his struggle against poverty.
Simon had learned “to give himself away” by his visit to Africa…and we are the beneficiaries of his freedom and generosity……
We are praying your land will be enlightened by him!
Jonas and Alice Kinda

Martin Luther King often prayed this prayer:
And now unto God who is able to keep us from falling and lift us from the dark valley of despair to the bright mountain of hope; from the midnight of desperation to the day-break of joy: to Him be power and authority for ever and ever. Amen.
The Murden family say amen, so be it.

Cheers Everyone!

Tributes for Simon

From Simon's Brother, Jonathan:

We were perhaps not your typical brothers because our closeness stemmed from a deep friendship, where we just always looked out for each other and shared everything.

I think we argued or fell out twice in 26 years and we quickly made up within 24hours, that was how close we were as brothers and bestest friends.

I’d always ask him how he was doing with his skating/djing and he would always respond by making fun of my new bling clothing or comment on my particular girlfriend at the time.

We influenced each other’s musical and film tastes giving us a wider appreciation of different styles of both. We were always exchanging ideas on recent music and DVDs. I will always be thankful to him for introducing me to reggae music and The Clash.

Simon’s love and diversity of music was just unbelievably brilliant, it should make all of us go out there and listen to more…

I will miss receiving a Christmas present from Simon. I used to love the fact that usually the DVD or CD he bought me, he actually wanted himself and had already watched or listened to it.

I will miss Simon being best man at my wedding, which was planned for this September. Him handing me the rings and what I’m sure would have been a hilarious double act speech between him and Max.

Whenever we were together, we would always be the last ones up, me, Max and Simon playing new music to each other or watching a DVD together and always, always laughing.

Simon’s skill on picking up new computer games was incredible, I would have been playing it for weeks and he would be beating me within minutes! I am sure many of our friends here will remember his amazing ability on Mario kart and have spent many a night trying to beat him.

Simon’s humour was unmatched and you could never outdo him for a quick-witted comment or dis.

Simon and I must have experienced at least nine Glastonbury festivals together. I’ll never forget the time last year when Simon entertained a crowd of probably 100 people playing ‘spin the stick’.

It was nothing but fun with Simon, he entertained and had fun for the entire 5 days we were there. We awarded him our prestigious ‘Man of the Match’ award for keeping us entertained and our spirits high in the rain and mud.

I feel so lucky to have experienced so much with my brother, travelling to Australia with him and Marc, travelling to Bali – we had a good few adventures together.
Driving through 6 European countries and visiting their major cities was an experience with Simon I will never forget, Simon kept me sane with his continual upbeat and calm attitude when I was losing the plot from the long drive and crazy European road signs.

In Australia he befriended the guys whom he instinctively knew were good guys – and he spotted the ones whom he called ‘man-chanters’ – people who you wouldn’t want to associate with – Manchanters – an expression that was used a lot from that trip onwards and it was invented by Simon.

I will miss going on holiday with Simon. His fear of flying kept us laughing and joking until take off and on landing his smile and relief was good to see.

On all Simon’s visits to me in London, he would comment on my need to slow down and stop rushing around everywhere.

He would always be calm, not moan, complain or get angry, but he would always ask me how I managed to live in such a fast paced rat race of a life.

Simon’s insights into what people were like was always astute and he just knew how to treat people. He would see someone being left out and he would always make an effort to include them, he had an amazing sense for that, which is something else we should all try and do. Be aware of each other

I am very lucky, honoured and happy to have had such a close relationship that included so many brilliant experiences with my brother. They are all good and happy, there has never been a bad one.

I miss him more than I can possibly put into words. There is not a day that will go by that I won’t think about him and about how he would have acted in any situation, I will always think about how my brother would have acted or what he would have said to me about everything I do.

Simon looked out for me, I looked out for him, always, but even more so in the last few years, I would have done anything for my brother.

At this moment in time, it is impossible to comprehend or come to terms with the sudden and violent loss of my brother. He was the loveliest, kindest, calmest, friendliest and non-violent person you could ever wish to meet, one of the good guys. This is the way everyone here remembers and knew him which makes what happened to him so much more unbelievable.

There was something I read on Simon’s tribute Skateboard, which I related to and feel strongly about: ‘It’s not goodbye, it’s just see you later’.

I love you and will always miss you bruv. Peace.

From Simon's Mother, Dorothy:

Simon Matthew was the youngest of my two lovely boys, Jonathan and Simon. The doctors had thought that we were unable to have children so when we eventually had two beautiful boys it was a double blessing. We chose names for them whose meaning was as important as their appeal to us. Simon because it means ‘heard by God’ and Matthew because it means ‘gift of God’, the same meaning as Jonathan.

My boys were, have been and still are a source of deep joy and love, both given and received. The photos at the beginning showed just a fragment of the life of Simon and his growing through the years. Those here who grew up with him remember the source of fun that our large garden and cottage has given to so many through the years. Ponds, newts, dens, chickens, forts, rabbits, the donkey, birthday parties, lizards, treasure hunts, water fights, bouncy castles, sleepovers, barbeques, snakes, bonfire nights, a youth club, skate ramps, to mention a few of the activities at our home as the boys grew up. Looking back it seems like so many of the children and young people living in and around Beverley have been to Cherry Tree Farm Cottage! Many of you who have shared our home are here now or have sent cards and letters expressing your love and your disbelief and shock about the death of Simon. Simon was a boy of gentle spirit, he loved animals, insects, newts, Apricot and Hazel the ‘pecked on’ chickens, goldfish, rabbits, stray hedgehogs, a stowaway African spider and especially Reeves our cat.

Reeves, who in his youth survived being regularly spun round on the kitchen floor in Simon’s boxer shorts! Reeves whose diet of baby rabbits often resulted in Simon rescuing the odd one that had escaped in the house and was lurking under the sofa. Reeves, who thinks he’s a dog and would follow Simon round the garden. Reeves who knows he is not allowed on other beds but was always to be found stretched out alongside Simon on his bed. Simon loved Reeves.

Simon with Reeves, who is now equivalent of nearly 90
and still catching rabbits!

Simon was dyslexic, sadly not properly identified at school, where he was not always given the support he needed. So reading and writing were hard for him. In spite of his struggle with learning he finally successfully completed an HNC in Business Studies at Hull College and did a year at Humberside University. But sport was another matter. In this he excelled and became Captain of his junior school football team the year they won an important cup. He eventually transferred his athletic skills to skateboarding, a passion he pursued at every opportunity. The video clearly showed his amazing expertise. He was artistic. When 4 years old he drew and painted a huge stegosaurus and Pterodactyl on his bedroom wall. He was good at observational drawing and always had an eye for colour and design which had recently begun to express itself in displays and creative ideas for his Dad’s company.

Looking at photos, thinking about Simon and all that he was, I thought of some of the things I will miss so much. I will miss his dry humour, the throw away line, easily missed but clever in its wit. I will miss his discerning and tolerant observations about people and events, always said thoughtfully and often funnily. I will miss his very loud music which covered a wide range and recently included The Clash, Johnny Cash and lots of Reggae. His mixing earphones on, head going to the beat, angry frown when I accidentally interrupted him. I will miss the pile of clothes on the shower room floor after he had showered, a source of ongoing nagging from me and grudging removal by Simon. I will miss the ‘Mum, get me a bowl of cereal please’ pleadingly said from his room after sleeping in. I will miss calling him for the umpteenth time to get up for school, work or because it was lunchtime! I will miss his call of ‘Cheers Mum’ when I had done something for him. I will miss his skateboarding life, trucks, washers, skate-shoes (he always wanted a new pair for birthdays and Christmas) boards, baggy jeans, hoodies and skate videos. I will miss his excellent Spaghetti Bolognese and his perseverance when mending artefacts for his Dad’s shop. I will miss his ‘selective hearing’. Simon in the Greek means ‘hearing’ and that meaning seemed totally inappropriate for him. Often I would say (or rather shout) “Simon will you answer me?” and now he no longer can. I will miss him more than these words can say.

The branches that are here ((pot), and in the arrangement on his coffin) are all taken from trees in our garden which have been planted by us during the life-time of Simon. They are signs of the coming of Spring, new growth after the dormancy of winter. On his return from Africa in February it felt to all of us as if Simon had begun to develop new growth in ways which surprised and delighted us. Suddenly he was talking about all sorts of things, beginning conversations about faith, God and behaviour. He was making observations about our Western materialism, the desperate poverty he had seen and the need for love and generosity for the Africans and between ourselves. He was more open and sharing with us and his friends at a deeper level than any of us had known before. On the Friday as I left for Tenby, where my family were to scatter both our parents ashes, we had our final conversation. I asked him if he was going to be alright. “Yes Mum, I’m good, don’t worry about me”. Then he came to me and hugged me hard, “You haven’t had enough hugs from me in the last eight years Mum”. I kissed him a number of times and said “I love you Simon”. He looked at me with his clear blue,green eyes and said “I love you Mum”. Those were our last words together. My loss of Simon in such a cruel and unimaginable manner is at times unbearable. Our lives will never be the same again.

In the darkness, all I know is that I am holding onto God and trusting him for the future, praying along with hundreds of you that Truth and Justice will prevail. Simon you have been snatched from us in the Springtime of your life, I love you, you are my lovely boy.

Simon, Anthony Minghella and his mother, Dororthy
at Cherry Tree Farm, last year

Simon's Solutions - A Tribute from Simon's Father, David:

Our last Africa trip was an amazing life changing experience for Simon and I have tried to explain this a little in the following thoughts.
“In touching the lives of the poorest people you touched the heart of God and He began to make Himself known to you.”

This was the heart of my explanation of the feelings that came over him whilst he was in Africa when afterwards he told me he “now believed in God” but was confused about the many names and religions.

I said we would get lots of time to talk through faith, life and the universe as we “chilled out” more together in the future. He said he would like that as this would let me do the same, listen to the music we now shared together, and let me relax and slow down…he emphasised this whilst telling me I was a hopeless workaholic(!) but “I’m on this mission with you now Dad and will be helping you all the way”

He then gave me an intense hug and said: “Look into my eyes Dad and really listen to what I am saying to you…..God has told me you are going to relax and be set free this year from worries about finding money for the poor. ”You will be set free of all the past And Albert worries you’ve had and people will finally see what you have achieved”.

He said this three times in the space of a few minutes on that final Saturday, each time with the most loving hugs and handshakes as well as…”Let’s shake on it Dad”….. Which I did!

This for me was the most deeply emotional and close time I have had with him ever, even though we had been sharing many things since he came back from Africa with an obvious new and positive attitude about life and his place in it. I felt I was receiving a lovely new son for the first time with no barriers in our communications…..

Like Dorothy, I had always tried to affirm Simon in everything he did as he was so often disparaging about himself and very reluctant for me to even see him skate…although during his last weekend he agreed I could come and take digital stills to go with the filming. We agreed on it being the coming Easter weekend; sadly this was not to be. I was deeply moved as this was on my mind when all these great Hull skaters and other friends came together on the Good Friday Vigil. Thank you Hull crew…Simon will be inspiring you to have some great times together as you commemorate his name on your park….I think he will even be sorting you out to go on the first West African skate fest!

So what is Simon saying to us now from his Africa experiences? (Though I have embellished some of his words a little, most of these are his sentiments gleaned from notes and songs he wrote during and after the Africa trip.)

(From the Jimmy Cliff skate film song, Be Aware):

1) “Take time out to think of someone else, Most of all be aware of your self”: Simon had become deeply aware of his responsibility for others and that he had to something good to offer. His compassion, “love in action”, and talents, which were all in the creative arena, were now going to be offered for the work with the poor in Africa. He was a “nobody” who God had already made into a “somebody”(I had read a quote from the “Message” New testament at end of 1 Corinthians Ch.1); God was giving His power and direction to him and making him “strong” in faith for others.

2) From some of his African artefacts we have his Burkinabe Chief’s staff…dating from before the slave trade and missionaries in West Africa. Its symbolic figure carving is to do with keeping your counsel and not saying much until God has given you the wisdom. This is what inspired Simon as he thought we in the West had all gone off talking too much, not listening to each other, and our world was full of noise which drowned out “God’s voice” giving us that wisdom! He wanted to make sure everyone knew there was still this “wisdom” left in Africa, especially in the villages, and the last thing he did in the shop was to put up a hastily done poster asking people to take note of the meanings in some of the Asante Adinkra symbols…Here are two of his favourites:

3) Gye Nyame…We can’t do anything unless God allows it…we are all in His hands; Sankofa, which we have adopted as our Trading Roots symbol…literally go back to your roots and learn wisdom from your origins. How Britain needs to apply this one…we have forgotten so easily our own heritage of fair play, justice and freedom and are getting swallowed up in Americanisation and Euro politics and law which are taking the Foundations of our culture away from us. We must wake up before it is too late. Perhaps Simon’s violent death at the hands of the “law” will not be entirely in vain if it causes us to pause and consider a better way forward for our crumbling society. The Bob Marley song we are going to sing soon, Redemption Song, is about slavery to systems which destroy our lives and souls in the name of progress… Simon would say, and I agree with him, the violence, now commonplace in our society has invaded all our hearts and minds and threaten our very future as a civilised nation. How it gets away with being so powerful therefore carries all our responsibilities to resist its evil. “All it needs for evil to flourish is for good men to do nothing!” Political speeches and spin, and even fair inquests into the “truth”, won’t do it this time…we need a renewed fresh look at our roots of belief and vote out the increasingly oppressive systems which would destroy our freedoms.

4) So to the “poor” in Africa, which Simon saw for himself and quickly realised these were real people one couldn’t simply throw money at, which however necessary in some cases, is an easy way out…There is no easy way....some of you have to go and be a friend and brother and sister to them and form lasting relationships of heritage, culture, fair-trade and conservation. Most of all you can ask God for a sharing of wisdom to protect them from the degeneration of materialism for its own sake which is now one of the main exports we are sending out there!

5) Let me show you Simon’s “begging bowl”….its a food bowl from North Ghana in regular use….In the village markets it costs 5 pence. This one has been repaired with plaited string, as have many others, because the people could not afford a new one! When Simon was in that area and saw the remote village of Singha, in North Ghana, across the White Volta, and the people devastated by Guinea Worm, river blindness, malaria and a whole lot of simple preventable diseases which kills over 1 in 4 kids before their 5th birthday…all because the water they bring 7 miles each day from the river is full of disease…he was passionate about our programme there to do something about it. We have paid the first woman teacher to be there for the last 2 years. She is called Rachael and is the daughter of one of our Directors, John Mahama, a poor North Ghana Dagomba man, who 3 years ago lost his only son of 13 to Malaria. He was devastated as I was, but he wrote these words to me, “Uncle David, please pray God will make me a better person through this tragedy and help me to serve the poor more powerfully.” His dream is coming true and we are part of it through God’s grace. Already many lives have been saved and helped through this ministry and will continue as we ask God to turn tragedy into triumph. So….we have already built a Ferry across the river to help them trade along its banks and hopefully take a medical land-rover over when funds permit. But Simon said “Dad we must raise the money for the borehole now…Tony and I will help you do it before your visit there in May.”

6) Simon would say to even attempt these challenges we need love and forgiveness not hate: We need to fear God not terrorism; Fear God, not be paranoid about our fellow man because they are different. BUT….conversely:

Fear we don’t do enough to get alongside the poor in the world and cure the outrageous imbalances with Western profligacy.

Fear we spend our wealth mostly in vain and passing pleasures that last but for a moment whilst neglecting the simple treasures of beauty, of nature, of lives lived well for others…. as you would want them to do for you…

7) Finally, deliverance from the mental slavery we are in already takes amazing courage to be ourselves. To accept ourselves fully just as we are taught God has accepted us through Jesus Christ and his message of perfect love, sacrifice, and faith in our future. Accepting ourselves as God accepts us, “drowning” in His undeserved grace to all mankind, allows us to love our neighbours in every part of the world and “turns every sword into ploughshares” and sets us free to take part in this Redemption Song:

Redemption means being bought with a slave price, about 30 pieces of silver (!), which then allows us to set off on new journeys of discovery…..

Simon has gone a little way ahead of us on a lone journey (“Celtic” poem in "Simon Says"), but his “Simon the Lion” roar will be heard and honoured as our time goes by the faster.

Bless him and all his friends and family.

Simon and Musah make friends with an Ent,
Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso

Tributes from Simon's Friends and Family

To begin with we just wanted to say thank you for all the flowers, cards, prayers and support that we have received.

These are a few tributes and memories from friends and family:

I remember Simon and his star-war figures, clown masks and dead goldfish. He drove me insane and I loved every minute of it.

You held great birthday parties at the cottage including ace treasure hunts. But my strongest memories are of wandering round the fields looking for old clay pipes to add to Simon’s collection or using the metal detector to find old coins and playing hide and seek in the cupboards between Simon and Johnnie’s bedrooms. Simon was a beautiful, caring and funny person and he’ll be sadly missed.

I was a close friend of Simon during our school days. Simon was always a friendly and fun loving character with a strong sense of loyalty. He was a true individual that never followed the crowd and cared passionately for those around him. I mourn the loss of a cherished childhood friend.

We have known Simon since he was 9. He was a lovely person, gentle, kind and willing. This is a huge tragedy, which shouldn’t have happened.

Our memories of Simon are the times spent together when the children were small. We have many photos of him, baking, making a snowman, hanging upside down, barbequing a sausage and tormenting our daughter with the ‘naughty mask’.

How an emerging life can be so cruelly ended is beyond our comprehension and we are deeply shocked and saddened for you.

Dear Simon was such a precious lad – I remember when he was 10, the breakfast tussle over a piece of raspberry jammed toast. Mum wanted him to cut it in half and he sat there, blue eyes and fair hair all innocence, eating his way round it and saying ‘hey mum, it all goes down the same way, what’s the problem?’

Simon brought an extra ray of sunshine to our lives every time he visited our shop. His passion and enthusiasm for his work and life was infectious.

We remember him as a warm, friendly, generous and considerate young man who always had time to stop for a chat whenever we saw him. He recently offered to take my son skateboarding and a few years ago gave him his Nintendo machine plus loads of games. It was actions like that, which made him a very special person. We will miss him so much.

Simon when I think of you these words flood into my mind – adventure, fun, creative, sensitive, caring and loving. As a child down the lane, playing in mud with sticks, building dens and ramps for skateboarding. Your creativity shone through when you set up an African village scene in the garden. Your love of nature and sensitivity when taking care of the huge spider that had managed to make it’s way from Africa to Beverley. Babysitting for my 2 children and making it such a fun time for them both, they were always asking me to come over and go out with Dot so that you could take care of them. These are only a snapshot from a whole album of memories. We loved you Simon and will treasure and remember you always.

Simon once took me with him when he went to pay a parking ticket. As he handed over his money he asked the woman behind the desk, “What’s it like being a soul-less form working for the Clampdown?”. As she looked right through him and just carried on we both burst out laughing. He was so amused by his comment that he didn’t care when he went outside and he’d been given another ticket!

Simon was one of the most funniest and quick-witted people that I have ever met who had a mint taste in music and a passion for his job. I’ll always remember rocking to the Clash, burning down the A1 with Jimmy Cliff on full volume and scaling the walls at Scarborough Castle!

Groovy times. Stay Free. Clash City Rockers forever more.

Simon you were like the older brother I never had. You treated me like one of your mates, not like the annoying little kid who was always bothering you. Your generosity when you copied me that CD and always let me come up to your room to chill out with you was neverending. You made me laugh like when we went out in your car and you would say “don’t sit in the back, I’m not your taxi driver”.

I have always looked up to you. You have been a big part of my life.

Something I will always remember about Simon was his uncanny ability with the ladies, he would be chatted up by the best looking girls without it seems even trying, there is one story from back in the day in Westtbridge house when Simon had come down for the weekend to go clubbing, we'd all left the club after hours of scorching the dance floor completely knackered looking like drowned rats , Simon appears from the club with one of the hottest girl we'd seen all night, amazing!!

Spending time with Simon was always fun. To me Simon was the definition of cool, letting us build bonfires and play on his playstation. Simon always made me feel included and it was never boring with him around. He always made me laugh. Miss you always.

I enjoyed his sense of humour, open generosity, kind, gentle, self effacing nature and refreshing way he took the people he met at face value. If I was stressing he’d say

“It don’t matter, it’s not important in the grand scheme of things”.

It’s this grand scheme of things he must now be a part of and only us who are still in the dark

Simon was a great person to be around, he laugh was infectious, he was mild-mannered, unassuming, modest and not self absorbed in any way. A very liked and loved person by everyone that knew him, his attitude to life was an inspiration to us all, and this shone through in all that he did. His impact on us will last longer than any lifetime we are all honoured to have been his friends and are better people for knowing him. Simon lives on in our hearts.

Simon was like the brother I never had. He means so much to me, with a caring heart and wise of mind.

He taught me things I’ll never forget, like how to care, and what real friends are,

to understand and not to judge, to put others before yourself, he was my oldest friend and confidante. He will live in my heart forever.

S – Smiles that always lifted everyone’s spirit

I – Intelligent, intellectual, an ‘individual’

M – Music his passion

O – Our brother

N – Never forgotten

Simon was my oldest and best friend. I knew when I first met Simon with his infectious laugh and laid back persona that we would be friends forever; and with an unspoken bond we became more like brothers. I loved Simon and everything he represented and stood for. They may have taken him away in the physical but can never take him from our hearts and memories. I miss you my brother but you know you will forever be looking out for me.

He was a good man and I know he always did you proud. If only everyone else was like Simon, this world would surely be a better place.

Simon wrote just a few weeks before he died ‘people are already rich with the sun, the moon and the stars and all the worlds resources but some don’t know it. Ultimately live a more fulfilling way of life. This is a better and more satisfying feeling than any amount of money or possessions can offer. We are all the same, two ears, two eyes, one brain, one world and so on. There can never be a quality between us until the colour of a man’s skin is no more significant than the colour of his eyes. Until basic human rights are equally guaranteed to all without regard to race. Until that day, the dream of lasting peace and the rule of an international morality will remain but a fleeting illusion to be pursued but never attained.’

Simon cared, now we must.

Tributes after the Funeral Sevice

For the full listing of the tributes from the Vineyard Church tribute book and the Blue Lamp tribute book, please go here>

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